Dani Goodman

Youth Development Team Administrator

I would describe ADHD as standing in an empty room, but the empty room is full of the sound of 1000 people. It’s like having a plan, with every detail on how to make it happen, but when it actually comes to it, executing the plan is like forcing yourself to do an activity you would do anything to avoid.

ADHD isn’t just about being “hyper”. It’s a constant battle between your brain wanting to run a marathon one minute then the next minute the thought of cooking dinner becomes so overwhelming that you end up staying in bed, scrolling on your phone until your stomach hurts.  Having ADHD puts a massive strain on most things in life including relationships, work, routine and your mental health. Although, hyper fixating on building Lego, talking for hours about my special interest, and spending lots of money on books I will probably never read sometimes feels like a positive of ADHD!

I was referred for an ADHD assessment by my therapist after a year of therapy. The process was quite quick once I got my appointment. By the end of the appointment, I was diagnosed and offered medication. Hearing someone validate the way I have been feeling since I was a child was such an overwhelming feeling. I went through a phase of feelings, I was happy I could finally have an answer, I was sad that it took till I was an adult to be listened to, but I was also angry at how I’d allowed people to make me feel about the way I am before I knew it was ADHD. Being diagnosed with ADHD and learning how to cope with it is a whole journey. Luckily, I have a lot of compassion for myself to allow myself time to learn about the things that suit me best to supporting living a life with ADHD.

Having ADHD is a rollercoaster – sometimes it is fun but at other times it is exhausting. My brain is constantly looking for something to do that gives me dopamine. That could be a spontaneous trip, spending £100 online or listening to music at volumes loud enough to give you tinnitus.

I find people often find it hard to keep up with me but if you think about it, this is how it feels to keep up with myself. Sometimes I have days where I am overstimulated and become overwhelmed. I can become anxious, snappy, frustrated and I just can’t focus on anything. This can be hard to overcome at work. I was offered medication but due to another type of medication I rely on for my mental health, I can’t take both of them so unfortunately I have to live with ADHD unmedicated.

I would say a benefit of having ADHD is sometimes you can be the life of the party! I am often making people laugh with my random outbursts of songs or TikTok phrases. I also enjoy being able to hyper focus on hobbies or activities and I tend to really enjoy them but it never lasts long before I am bored and onto the next one! Another benefit would be how organised I can be when I need to be! I use organisation and I try hard to keep a routine in order to try and manage my ADHD.

One of my biggest challenges with ADHD is trying to get my brain to focus on one thing. I can’t just sit and focus. As crazy as it sounds, I focus better on one task when I have something else distracting me. For example, I can focus on clearing my emails, if I have my headphones in. Another challenge can be communication. I often struggle to express how I’m feeling and what I’m struggling with. I also struggle to regulate my emotions which can cause me to not think about the consequences to allowing myself to react before regulating.

I often struggle with brain fog, I am always forgetting my passwords, how to complete tasks even if I have been doing them for a year and sometimes, I find myself staring at work with a completely blank mind and not knowing where to start. At work, I often become irritated by noises that distract me such as colleagues talking, keyboards being typed on, printers and people walking around.

The easiest way we can support people with ADHD is by allowing them time. Whether that’s for a piece of work you’re waiting for or even just a response to a message. I must hold discipline and boundaries when it comes to work else, I end up overworking myself which then ends up causing me to feel emotionally drained. Long texts or emails give me information overload, meaning my brain is unable to process any of it!

You can also support people by not taking things personally. As I have mentioned before, I struggle to regulate my emotions, Sometimes I don’t want to talk, sometimes I’m blunt and a lot of the time I can be snappy especially when I struggling to focus on something I know I need to do or have finished within a timeframe. I tend to be able to focus for longer periods of time if I have screen breaks and a quick stretch and a walk. I’m not procrastinating (although that is a huge thing I struggle with having ADHD), I am just trying to give my brain space to wander as it wants and then reset so I can get on with what I need to do

Workplaces can help support people with ADHD in several ways. Occupational health assessments, risk assessments and a routine meeting for checks ins. Let us make mistakes, it will happen again and again and again but give us time. One week our brains will be able to work as if it is carried by 10 employees, other weeks it will be like I can’t even carry my own! I will never be fixed; I will never be a perfect employee, but I will try my hardest to use what I have in place to support me, and I will also reach out if I am struggling. I find I can hyper focus on stuffing envelopes or making boxes, so I find if I am having a day where I am struggling to focus on my work, I take a short amount of time and step away to focus on something else. I feel it is important for employees with ADHD to feel we can step away from our work and not feel guilty about it. I will never be able to work without my ADHD impacting it. It’s how I choose to support it to make staying employed, possible.

No two days are the same with ADHD and how much I am affected by having it changes every single day. Multiple things like stress, sleep pattern, diet, other disabilities, etc can contribute to whether you are having a good or bad day. Unfortunately for me, I am on a huge mental health journey and my ADHD has been having a negative impact on me. Work is probably where I struggle most with my ADHD when I am having a bad day currently but as long as you reach out, give yourself compassion and accept that not every day is going to be a good day then you will get through it.

Once I disclosed my diagnosis to my line manager, I was given an occupational health assessment and a risk assessment. I also had a meeting about the things I thought would help support me in the workplace. TAAS were able to make changes to my hours, office days, where I work in the office and other adjustments. My line manager also has a regular check in meeting with me to make sure that I am feeling well supported and if there is anything else that can do done.

I have struggled with holding a job for any longer than a month or two but thanks to the support and flexibility TAAS have put in place for me, I have been employed with them for 1 & ½ years!

A huge symptom for me is having a “messy head”. I get overwhelmed with work, frustrated with noise and have to live my life with a list on my hand or in my phone. I often shut down and sort of “retaliate” instead of reaching out for help. I can procrastinate and leave things until the last minute and sometimes I end up getting emotional because I am so overwhelmed by the things I then have to catch up with. I don’t think that you should assume that if someone is showing signs of ADHD, that it is ADHD, but I do think either way, it is not nice to feel like you can’t quieten your mind and you spend all day battling your mind to just work like a normal persons so just be kind, be understanding, be compassionate and most of all, know that your help most likely won’t be accepted immediately but we will come looking for it eventually once it’s been offered.

Stereotypically, people think ADHD is being hyper and most commonly, only perceived to affect children. A huge part of my ADHD is masked hence why I wasn’t diagnosed till I was 27 years old. I have learned to mask since being at school and this can become very emotionally draining. I often struggle with low energy, motivation, anxiety, low mood and overlooking details. This is called Inattentive ADHD. I was diagnosed with both combined ADHD which is Inattentive and Hyperactive-impulsive. Imagine the days where both of these clash! It’s exhausting to say the least!

I don’t believe that “Everyone is a bit ADHD”. I believe some characteristics do seem like symptoms of ADHD, but ADHD is a whole bucket of things. I do feel offended when I hear things like this because if everyone had ADHD and it is that easy to recognise then why is it so hard for girls and women to be diagnosed? ADHD can be debilitating – it’s isn’t fun.

If you want to know more about ADHD then speaking to people who have ADHD is the best way to learn about it. It affects everyone in different ways and hearing people’s personal stories can help you learn about ADHD from many different angles. Google is good for telling you about symptoms, but nothing will help you understand it more than talk to people who live with it.

If you think you may have it, then it is worth being assessed. There is help to support you in every aspect of your life when it comes to living with ADHD. Whether that is medication, therapy, workplace assessments and support and general help and support from friends, family & colleagues. You don’t have to learn to live with it alone.

You can read the experiences of our other TAAS colleagues here.